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“If you’re coming from a heterosexual background and are interested in exploring similar-gender attraction, I recommend learning more about both LGBTQ+ culture in general and bisexuality specifically,” says Ochs. That’s why she recommends following, engaging with, and having conversations with bi folks. “For some, connecting to the bisexual community plays a huge role in feeling comfortable identifying as bisexual,” says Noel. Connect with the LGBTQ+ community, especially those who are “B” If so, spend some brain power thinking through that. Next, think about the people/actors/characters in those mediums who you feel more connected to.Īre they bisexual? Queer? Are they sexually ambiguous? Do they have sexual tension with someone of a similar gender?
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Think about the TV shows and movies you watch, books you read, or podcasts you enjoy. That said, actually going on dates can be helpful for someone who’s questioning whether they’re bisexual.Īfter all, it’s very possible that you’re aesthetically drawn to a particular gender on a dating app but not actually interested in ever dating or getting down with them. “You absolutely do not need to go on dates with or have sex with two or more genders to know that you’re bisexual,” she says.
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Actually go on IRL or URL dates with folks of a variety of gendersĮxperience isn’t a prerequisite to bisexuality, says Noel. Get swipingĬurrent relationship structure and status allowing, create an online dating profile and set your preferences to two or more of the gender options.īe interested in who you feel drawn to swipe right on. What does bi-curiosity look like in practice?īi-curious implies that someone is actively exploring their (bi)sexuality, which can be done in a wide variety of ways. And someone else’s discomfort with your sexuality or the sexuality label you use for yourself doesn’t make your identity any less valid. Ultimately, concerns around the term bi-curiosity are usually just biphobia in another costume. This fear totally ignores the fact that LGBTQ+ people have the agency to make informed decisions about who they do - or don’t - date.
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In other words, there’s a fear that bi-curious people are going to harm more established members of the LGBTQ+ community by dating them in a half-assed way. “There’s also a fear amongst the LGBTQ+ community that bi-curious people are outsiders who are going to infiltrate queer spaces, mess with its members, and then leave,” explains Ochs. Spoiler alert: Cis and (previously?) heterosexual people of any gender can be genuinely interested in exploring the different genders they’re attracted to! In other words: They’re doing it to be hot. Why? “Some people believe that when cis and (previously?) heterosexual women identify as bi-curious, they’re doing it to appease the male gaze,” she explains. Sadly, notes Noel, “there’s a lot of stigma surrounding bi-curiosity.” Why is this distinction so contentious for some?